Dogs and Women

Q: What do dogs and women have in common?
A: They both like 12-inch bones.

Parrot Food

Q: What do parrots eat?
A: Polyfilla!

Something Fishy Here

What is life like under the sea? Is it a dogfish eat dogfish world? Is everyone united for a common porpoise, or do they all split off in their own special groupers? Well, one tragic story indicates it's not so perfect down there.
There was once a brilliant sturgeon on the staff of the community health fishility. He was in fact one of it's flounders. Wiser than salmon, a fin fellow who would never shrimp from his responsibilities, he was successful and happy and always whistled a happy tuna. One day one of his patients, a mere whipper snapper, started trouting around telling everyone the sturgeon's treatments had made him more eel than he had been and the conked him with a malpractice suit. Well, the sturgeon was in a real pickeral. The board chased him off the staff and demanded his oyster. Fortunately, the case smelt to high heaven so the judge denied the plaintiff's clam. The board tried to hire the sturgeon back but by then he had hit the bottle-nose pretty hard. What's really shad about the story is that the sturgeon ended up on squid-row...