Dog's Letters To God

• Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
• Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
• Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
• Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
• Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
• Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Wrong Side of The Cage

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

Britney Spears Drinking Milk

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.