Alcohol Jokes

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

My Guinness

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Scottish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

West Virginia Drinking

Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? 
A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Categories: U.S. State Jokes (West Virginia Jokes) , Redneck Jokes , Alcohol Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous
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