The Hunter

A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him. He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing. And the guy replies  "I'm hunting you idiot ... can't you see that!" "OK, OK .."  says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?".Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin!?". Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff,  is there anything else you'd like ? "."No" says the hunter and he starts to leave. As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "By the way pal... exactly what do you hunt?" " I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell that .  I'm a BarGIN Hunter!"

Tennessee Walk

I was walking through Tennessee, and I came upon a cabin. There was a man sitting on the porch with a big bottle in front of him. He called over to me, "Hey boy, get over here." Pointing to the bottle, he asked, "You know what this is?" "I don't know." "It's moonshine you idiot. Why don't you take a drink?" "No thanks," I said. All of a sudden he pulled out a pistol and pointed it at me. "If you don't take a drink, I'll blow your balls off!" Terrified, I took a drink. It was the worst thing I ever tasted. It burned going down, I thought I was going to throw up. "Good stuff, aint it?" He said. Then he handed me the pistol. "Now you point that gun at me so I can take a drink."

Irish Compassion

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."