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Alcohol Jokes
My Car Is Shtolen!
An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you lad?" "Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!", the Irishman replies. The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key." About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girl too!"
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Russian, Mexican, Texan
A Russian, a Mexican, and a Texan are hanging out in a bar. The Russian tosses up a whiskey bottle and says, "We have a lot of these back home." The Texan tosses up the Mexican and says, "We have a lot of these back home."
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7 Shots of Vodka!
Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says "Ok, but pal you are gonna hurt yourself with that." The man says "Just pour them." The man takes the first shot and the bartender says "Hey, you want to talk about it?" The man says "No!" and drinks the next 2 shots. The bartender says "Come on and tell me about it I've got a good ear, that's why a lot of people come here for, to tell their troubles." The man by then has finished the 7 shots and says "Ok, today was my first blow job." The bartender says "Hey great, have another on the house." The man says "No, if 7 doesn't get the taste out, nothing will!"
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