Celebration

A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots! Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blow job."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

AAA Call

me: Hi, my name is Tiffany and I'm an alcoholic
AAA: Ma'am, you're reached the American Automobile Association
me: I know, I'm explaining why my car is in the lake.

MasterCard for Men

Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Couch dance, with tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00
Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: Priceless.
There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.