The Vet Delivers

There was a country doctor who was the only doctor for miles around. He wanted to go on a fishing trip, so he called the vet and asked him to look after things while he was gone. The vet asked, "Is anything happening?"
The doctor replied, "Mrs. Jones is about due, but I don't think the baby will come before I get back. Anyway, if it does, just deliver it. This is her third, and the first two went really easily."
The vet agreed, and the doctor went on the fishing trip. When he returned, he called the vet. "How did things go while I was gone?"
"Pretty good. Mrs. Jones had her baby. It was an 8 pound boy. Everyone's doing fine."
"Did you have any trouble?"
"Well, there was just one little problem. I had a terrible time getting her to eat the afterbirth!"

Sick Dog

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto the the operating table, looks down and says, "Say ahhh!" The man looks at the vet and says, "The dog can't speak. "The vet says to the man, "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!"

Guinea Pig

I drove my sister's guinea pig to the vet this morning. My new golf clubs work great!