The Vet Delivers

There was a country doctor who was the only doctor for miles around. He wanted to go on a fishing trip, so he called the vet and asked him to look after things while he was gone. The vet asked, "Is anything happening?"
The doctor replied, "Mrs. Jones is about due, but I don't think the baby will come before I get back. Anyway, if it does, just deliver it. This is her third, and the first two went really easily."
The vet agreed, and the doctor went on the fishing trip. When he returned, he called the vet. "How did things go while I was gone?"
"Pretty good. Mrs. Jones had her baby. It was an 8 pound boy. Everyone's doing fine."
"Did you have any trouble?"
"Well, there was just one little problem. I had a terrible time getting her to eat the afterbirth!"

Second Opinion

A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead. Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door. The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a “meow”, walked back into the cage and went back to sleep.The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do.” Resigned, the man signed and said, "Thanks for trying. How much do I owe you?" "Three-hundred fifty dollars," the doctor replied. "Thr . . . thr . . .three-hundred fif-fif-fifty bucks to tell me my dog is dead!" the man stammered. "Well, it was only $50 for the office visit. The other $300 is for the CAT scan."

Feeling Guilty

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, "Howard. You're a veterinarian."