Profession Jokes - Veterinarian Jokes

Just Use Nair

My wife found out that our dog (a Giant Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears.
He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. 
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." *
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Giant Schnauzer." 
The pharmacist said, "Well, then stay off your bicycle for at least a week.

Anonymous

Cross-Eyed Dog

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. "Hmm, not good," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down"
The owner was stunned, "Put him down just because he's cross-eyed?"  "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Veterinarian Sign

Q: What did the sign in the veterinarian's waiting room say?
A: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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