Strawberry and Cream

A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."
The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"

Nail File

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

Pirate at Doctor

A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them and says, "It's okay, they're benign." The pirate replied, "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"