Pirate at Doctor

A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them and says, "It's okay, they're benign." The pirate replied, "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

Urology Humor

Q: What EKG find is associated with hypospadias?
A: An inverted p-wave.

Client Bill

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

1 screw = $1
Knowing how to put it in = $4999
$5000 total
The businessman never argued.