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Profession Jokes - Lawyer Jokes

Six People On A Plane
Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, " Save the children" The lawyer yells out "FUCK THE CHILDREN!" The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?"
Categories:
Religion Jokes
(Nun / Priest Jokes)
, Profession Jokes
(Lawyer Jokes)
, Dark Humor Jokes
(Pedophile Jokes)
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Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Lawyer Hunting Regulations
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS: Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
- Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
- Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
- Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
- It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
- It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
- If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.
- Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.
- It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
-
BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder...........(2)
- Two-faced Tort Feasor...............(1)
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
- Small-breasted Ball Buster..........(3) (Female only)
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut.................(2)
- Honest Attorney.....................(0) (On the Endangered Species List) (Illegal to hunt)
- Cut-throat..........................(2)
- Back-stabbing Whiner................(2)
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
- Silver-tongued Drug Dealer Defender.......($100 BOUNTY)
Categories:
Profession Jokes
(Lawyer Jokes)
, Sports Jokes
(Hunting Jokes)
, Dark Humor Jokes
(Death Jokes)
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- 3
- 0
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Lawyer's Funeral
Q: Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer's funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
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- 1
Anonymous