Hernia Operation

One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis, took the balls out and set them on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put the balls back into the scrotum. He searched the operating room but could not find the balls of the patient. He told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep this poor man's testis pouch empty. After the operation, he met the patient in a garden for morning walk. Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling. The man said "Doc everything is fine! Life is good except that whenever I scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."

Watermelons

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Viewpoints

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"