Profession Jokes

Worries of an Accountant

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said.  "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Accountant Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Henpecked Husband

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Psychiatrist Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Old Never Dies

Old academics never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance
Old accounts never die, they are deleted
Old actors never die, they just drop a part
Old alcholics/drug users never die, they just get wasted
Old anthropologists never die, they just become history
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver
Old architects never die, they just lose their structure
Old assets never die, they just depreciate
Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world
Old atoms never die, they just decay
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest
Old bankers never die, they just want to be a loan
Old baseball players never die, they just go batty
Old baseball players never die, they just run their last lap

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Profession Jokes (Accountant Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Banker Jokes) , Profession Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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