Economist Valentines

Top economist Valentine's Day cards
4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.
3. Let's raise housing starts together.
2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.
1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.

Market Development

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Shit in a Hat

One day a man was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, and he really had to take a shit. So he got out of his car and went over to a bush and took a shit in his hat. He couldn't leave his hat there because he had his name on it. He took his hat and on the way to his car he saw a police man. He covered the hat with his hand. The police officer came over and asked him what was in the hat. The guy said, "It's a hurt bird."
The police officer said, "Let me see the bird."
The man said, "I can't if I take my hand away it will fly away."
The police officer said, "Let me see the bird."
The man said, "I can't - if I take my hand away it will fly away." They kept that up for about five minutes.
Then the police officer got mad and asked him one more time. "Take your hand away and I will reach in really fast and the bird won't fly away!"
The guy said, "Alright." And he slowly removed his hand.
The police officer reached in and grabbed a handful of shit and asked the man, "What is this?"
The man replied, "You scared the shit out of the bird."