Flying Pill

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."

Using a Suppository

A guy walks into a pharmacy to pick up his prescribed suppository and asks the pharmacist how to use it. The pharmacist tells him that he should take it rectally, and the guy leaves, confused. After 10 minutes, he comes back in and and asks her again how to use the suppository. The pharmacist tells him to put it in his anus, and the guy still seems confused, but leaves anyway. After an hour, he calls the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist how to use the suppository again, and she tells him, "Grab the suppository and shove it up your ass!" The guy yells back at the pharmacist, "No need to be rude, you're just doing your job!"

Rottweiler and Social Worker

Q: What is the difference between a rottweiler and a social worker?
A: It is easier to get your kids back from a rottweiler!