New Look

There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery.
The head of the group commented to the members,  "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."

IRS Agents Into Heaven

Two income tax collectors died and arrived at the pearly gates. Just ahead of them were two clergy, but St. Peter motioned them aside and took the internal revenue into heaven at once. "Why them ahead of us?" the surprised religious leaders asked. "Haven't we done everything possible to spread the good word?" "Yes," said St. Peter, "but those two IRS agents scared the Heck out of more people than you ever did!"

Two Kinds of Lawyers

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.