Who's the Boss?

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks."
The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."
The legs declared, "I should be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."
So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."
He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him.
"You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"
The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore.
"Ok, ok, you're the boss!" They gave in. So the asshole became the boss of the body.
The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

Everyone Is Busy

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister?  Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???
Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too....
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!
Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

Gynecologist and Delivery

Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A: They can smell it but they can't eat it!