Ponderings Collection 41

• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
• How can there be self-help "groups"?
• How do you get off a non-stop flight?
• How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
• How many weeks are there in a light year?
• If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
• If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
• If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
• If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Teacher 911

Q: Why did the kindergarten teacher call the Police?
A: Because a 5 year old was resisting a rest.

Writers' Quotes

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy: "I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
William Faulkner: "I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87."
Steve Martin: "I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."
Mel Brooks: "It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
Robert Benchley: "A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction."