No Card

Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases. One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers. The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked, "Where did those flowers come from?" The other proctologist answered very cooly, "How should I know? There wasn't any card!!"

Polish Robber

A Polish guy walks into a store and says, "Open the register!". The store keep says, "We're closed." The Polish guy says, "I'll be back tomorrow"!

Woman Visits the Therapist

A lady visits her therapist. "I think my husband is a son of a bitch." The therapist asks why she thinks that. She replies, "Well, he kisses me." The therapist kisses her and says, "I kissed you, and I'm not a son of a bitch." She replies, "Yes, but he feels me up." The therapist proceeds to feel her up. He returns to his seat and says, "I felt you up, and I'm not a son of a bitch." The lady replies, "But he -- you know -- has sex with me." So the therapist goes over and has sex with her. After they're finished, the therapist says, "See, I just had sex with you, and I'm not a son of a bitch." The lady says, "Yes, but my husband has AIDS." The therapist says, "SON OF A BITCH."