He Needs Blue Ice

This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it." The weekend goes by and on Monday morning the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a  muscle pain reliever). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says, "It's not for my penis, it's for my arm." Pharmacist says, "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well... I drank the whole bottle of your potion." Pharmacist says, "And..." Guy replies, "The girls never showed up!"

The Engineer and the Bike

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Naval Student's Anchors

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" asked the captain.
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir," the student replied.
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir," the student replied.
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."