Horse Play

An unconscious man arrives at a hospital. After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus.
The doctors have declared his condition as "stable".

How are Lawyers Like Sperm?

Q: How are lawyers like sperm?
A: One out of a million turns out to be a human being.

Another Ambulance Chaser

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."