Knockout Decisions

Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation

Politician and Screwdriver

Q: What's the difference between a politician and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, while politicians screw interns.

When to Negotiate

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."