Word Play Jokes - Private Parts

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Halloween Phrases

I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
Have someone check the goodies before they go into your mouth.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Holiday Jokes (Halloween Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sex Jokes , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Made in Canada

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!" "Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'help you," replied the Prime Minister. "I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?" "Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton. "Oui?" "Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton. "No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan Condoms. "I need a favor, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send 'dem to Hamerica." "Consider it done," said the President of Trojan. "Great! Now listen, dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter."" Easily done. Anything else?" "Yah," said the Prime Minister, "an' print 'MADE IN CANADA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Canadian Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Political Jokes
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Anonymous

Nuns Confess at Pearly Gates

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. He asks the first nun, ''Sister Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun giggles and slyly replies, ''Well once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.'' St. Peter says, ''OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.'' St. Peter asks the next nun the same question, ''Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis?'' The nun is a little reluctant but replies ''Well once I fondled and stroked one.'' St. Peter says ''OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate.'' All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns, one nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says ''Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush?!" ''The nun replies, ''If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous
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