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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
Lucky Dog
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.
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On The First Night
On their first night together, a newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe. "The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." at that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!
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The Freudian Slip
Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought the train tickets to go see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a little funny. John said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take a few more sips of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying something he didnít mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said there ís a name for that isn't there... you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you are trying to say something. Yea, says John, it ís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it said Ted, I couldnít think of the word. Why are you asking said John? Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets for Pittsburg, and the girl selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had to embarrassingly say I mean two tickets to Pittsburg. God, it just embarrassed the shit out of me. You ever done anything that stupid? Funny you would ask, said John. Just this morning my wife and I were having breakfast... I meant to say, dear, would you please pass me the sugar, but instead I said, "You fucking bitch, youíve ruined my life."
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