Two Cats and the River

There were two cats that enjoyed running together. The first cat was english, called One-two-three.  The other was french and called Un-deux-trois.  One day when they were running they came to a huge river. The cats took a large run up and leapt as far as they could.
Q: Which cat drowned?
A: Un-deux-trois cat sank (un deux trois quatre cinq)

Chinese Barbecue

Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue?
A: Because the rice falls through the grill

Dad Stealing

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.