Bandstand

Q: How do you make a bandstand?
A: Take away their chairs!

Getting What You Ask For!

A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted. "I want to get screwed," said the man. "OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot,"  answered the voice. The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed. Minutes passed and nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again. "Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!" "What?" said the voice, "Again?"

Interview

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?
President: Improper? Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.