Newfies Changing A Tire

Q: How many Newfies does it take to change a flat tire?
A: Five. One to seal the inner tube and four to club the seal.

Psychiatrist Light Bulbs

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.

Call The Doctor

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"