Blowing Bubbles

Three ducks were swimming in a pond after midnight and were arrested for trespassing. The next morning, they were called to appear in court. The judge called in duck number one and said, "What where you doing in the pond after midnight?" "I was blowing bubbles." The judge then called in duck number two and asked him the same question. "Judge, I was blowing bubbles." He then called in duck number three and said, "So let me guess? You were blowing bubbles too?" "No, I'm Bubbles."

Fat Bathtub

You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving you'll fill the bathtub before you even turn on the water.

Exit Strategy

Whenever I leave my house I have to have a firework display.
I like to go out with a bang.