Word Play Jokes

Hilarious Signs

  • Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
  • On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
  • On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
  • Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
  • Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
  • In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
  • Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
  • On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
  • In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
  • On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
  • At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
  • In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Anonymous

Emotion Costume Party

A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in. A lady comes dressed in red. She says, "Anger!" and lets her in. Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear. "Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!" The first guy says, "Yeah, and I'm f**king dis-custard." The second guy says, "And I'm deep in dis-pear."

Anonymous

Computer Language Booty Call

Your bra size looks like it's the same as my favorite computer language, C++.

Anonymous
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