Fisherman's Sons

A fisherman and his wife had twin sons named Towards and Away. Once the boys were grown, the fisherman took them out to sea to learn the family fishing trade. A week later, the mother saw her husband dock the boat all alone. "Oh no! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried. "We were just one day out to sea, when Towards hooked a great fish. He fought long and hard, but he was pulled over the side and swallowed whole by the fish." "Oh dear, what a huge, horrible fish that must of been!" "Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."

Talk To Me

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."

Blondes Parallel Park

Q: Why can't blondes parallel park?
A: Because guys keep telling them that 1 inch is really 6 inches.