Travel Jokes - Car Trip Jokes

Blow up the Tires

A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?". The man says "Sorry, we're right out of petrol." So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?". The attendant responds, "Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that. The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant,  "Just what kind of petrol station is this?".  The attendant then looks both ways and very carefully whispers to the man, "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front.".  The man then says, "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires !"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

You're in Big Trouble

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

I Want That Car

Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish I could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "I wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars."

Anonymous
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