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Technology Jokes
Give Us New Missiles
The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dog fights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles." "No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-jet missiles!"
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Bill Gates Hard Drive
Q: Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide rights to Viagra?
A: He's renaming it MICROHARD.
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Modems vs Women
Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman:
- A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it.
- Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".
- When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
- A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
- A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
- A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
- You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
- A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
- A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
- You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents.
- If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
- Modems come with an instruction manual.
- Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.
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