Bill Gates Hard Drive

Q: Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide rights to Viagra?
A: He's renaming it MICROHARD.

Modems vs Women

Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman:

1. A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it.
2. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".
3. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
4. A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
5. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
6. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
7. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
8. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
9. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
10. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents.
11. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
12. Modems come with an instruction manual.
13. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.

Computer Experts

Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether a computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female.
The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as "HE" because:

1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a newer and better model.

The group of men reported that computers should be refered to as "SHE" because:

1. No one, but, the creator understands their logic.
2. The native language they use to talk to other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.