Call from the Boss

My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "It’s all under control. It's been a very busy day. I haven't stopped to take a break all day."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said "Of course, what is it?" "Pick up the pace a little - I'm in the group behind you." 

Mow the Yard

Lee Trevino is a considered one of the best golf players in history and has a net worth over $40 Million. He's Hispanic and lives with his beautiful wife in Dallas, Texas. One day he was out cutting the grass, as he does every week. A lady driving by in a sleek new Tesla S stopped in front of his house and motioned for him to come to her car.  Lee drove his Toro Zero turn mower to her car and waited for her to lower the window. The lady said, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"
Lee responded, "Yes Ma'am, I do."
The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?"
Lee said, "Well, the woman in this house lets me sleep with her." The lady's eyes got big, she then turned red and sped off in the Tesla without a reply.
No one knows if she ever returned to take him up on his offer.

What Would You Do for Golf

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth Guy: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."