Golfer Hit the Ball a Long Way

A golfer hit his drive 300 yards right down the middle on the first hole. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight a thim. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?" "Yes, I am," he replied. St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?" The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"

Golf Game Respects

Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by. So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, ''Why did you do that?'' The man replies, ''Well we were married for almost 40 years. It's the least I could do.''

Lawyer's Personal Injury

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."
"I'll take it," the attorney said.