Baby Bear's New Living

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a divorce. The judge decided that baby bear was going to live with mama bear. Baby bear started to cry. "Whats wrong?" the judge asked baby bear. "I don't want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!" said baby bear. "Then, you can live with papa bear" said the judge. Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, "What's wrong?" Baby bear replied, "I don't want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does." "Then who do you want to live with?" asked the judge. Baby bear replied, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, because they don't beat anyone!"

Football Dog

Q:  Why didn't the dog want to play football?
A:  It was a boxer!

Football Coach

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: He wanted his Quarterback