Substance on the Field

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Headers

First I'll do a header, then you do one. Goooaaalll!

First Time Super Bowl

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."