Man is Lying

Q: How can you tell if a man is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Got Lentils?

Q: What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? 
A: I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

If Men Ruled The World - Drinking

• Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.
• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
• St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated monthly.
• Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."