5 Qualities in a Woman

The five most important qualities in a woman:

1. one who is independent and helps around the house,
2. one who can make you laugh,
3. one who you can trust,
4. one who is good in bed,
5. and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

Chestnut Wins

NEW YORK -- Joey "Jaws'' Chestnut beat his own record and won the Mustard Yellow International Belt on Sunday, downing a stomach-churning 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the annual July Fourth eating contest at Nathan's Famous on Coney Island.
Chestnut, 38, easily secured victory by polishing off 17 more hot dogs than the previous winner, Stormy Daniels.

If Men Ruled The World

• Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
• Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
• Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
• It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
• Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.