Soap Operas

Q: How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
A: In real life, men aren't affectionate in bed.

Men Say The Smartest Things

Men say the smartest things when they start the sentence with "A woman once told me..."

21 Types Of Pissers

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM!
EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.
WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.
DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both.
FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.
LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
DRUNK: Holds right thumb in left hand, pisses in pants.
DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
CONCEITED: Holds two-inch dick like a baseball bat.
RADICAL: Ignores urinal. Pisses on wall.