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Sex Jokes
Unlucky Traveling Salesman
Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. "Sure," said the farmer, "my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23, but they're off to college, and I'm all by my self, so I have lots of room to put you up." Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back towards the highway, and the farmer called after him, "Didn't you hear what I said? I have lots of room." "I heard you," said the salesman, "but I think I'm in the wrong joke."
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Doggy Style
These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. The driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone's front lawn. "Look", he shouts "What are the those dogs doing? Are they fighting?" The passenger, being a man of the world, replies "They are having sex. Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggy style before?" The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex doggy style. So the passenger says, "You have to try it. Its pretty cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife a margarita, and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual position." The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a try. The next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the passenger asks, "Well, how did it go?" To which the driver replies, "It was great, but it took me 6 margaritas just to get her on the front lawn."
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Downfalls of Being an Egg
It's a bummer to be an egg because...
1) You only get laid once.
2) You only get eaten once.
3) It takes 7 minutes to get hard.
4) You have to come in a box with 11 others.
5) The only one who'll sit on your face is your mother.
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