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Sex Jokes
Pull Out Method
Q: What do you call men who use the pull out method?
A: Fathers
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Your very first time!
It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him, he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins moving in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you. You lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. Keep reading ... You smile and thank your dentist! After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinkin'? PERVERT I know what you were thinking!
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Puppy Love
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very caring and slowly to his impressionable little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother." The little boy replied, "Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
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