Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
- Home
- >
- Categories
- >
- Sex Jokes
- >
- Others
Sex Jokes
Behold I Cometh!
A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him. He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh....." but he couldn't remember the rest of it. So he tries to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember. So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh! ..." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row. He was embarrassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered "It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"
- 1
- 2
- 0
An Elderly Couple And Sex
An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again -- the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs -- she's coming downstairs, he's heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"
- 0
- 3
- 1
Poetic justice
A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park.
The witness: They were fucking your honor
The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way:
The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear until tiny sounds came to my ear. There was this couple on the ground there and his balls were dangling in the air and you know his what was in her you know where. If that wasn't fucking your Honor I wasn't there.
- 0
- 3
- 1
