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Sex Jokes
A Tale of Two Monkeys
An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxidermist.
"So you want them mounted?" asked the taxidermist.
She replied: "No. Holding hands will do just fine."
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No Rest on this Island
A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island. The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man would take two women a day and they would allow him to have Sundays off.
One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing. He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued at last. The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the boat. As he got out, the first guy said, "Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to see YOU!" To which the second guy responded, "Well alright sweetie! It's been a long time for me too." first man exclaimed, "Oh hell, there go my Sundays!"
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Birds And Bees?
Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. "Mommy," she said, "I'd like you to answer one question." "Very good," replied her mother, "I was wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees." "It's not that," said the girl. "I know all about screwing. What I would like to know is how to make lasagna."
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