Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes

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Coming Home Late

Dave's friends came up to him after work one day and asked him to go out for a few beers with them. Dave replied, ''No, I can't. My wife gets really pissed if I come home late.'' Dave's friend said, ''When you get home, just go slide beneath the sheets, pull her panties down and give her oral sex. She won't say anything.'' So Dave goes out with his friends and has a great time. When he comes home hours later, he goes into his room and slides beneath the sheets. He pulls down her panties and begins to give her oral sex. She starts to moan and groan. After a while, Dave tells her that he has to go take a leak and for her to wait there. When Dave gets to the bathroom he's stunned to see his wife sitting on the john. ''How did you get here?'' he asked. ''Shhhh,'' she replied, ''my mom is sleeping.''

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother-in-Law Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
Anonymous

Frog in a Box

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him. The guy asks, "What's in the box?" The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad." The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?" The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later. "That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me." The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door. "Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands. "South American Blow Job Toad." "So?" asks the wife. "So, teach it to cook and get the f**k out."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Frog Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous

Monica Back in the News

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, "I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face." "This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on." "I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it." "Thank you." Monica Lewinsky

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Political Jokes (About Democrats) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
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Anonymous
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