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Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Flavored condoms
I recently tried some of these new 'flavored' condoms. I bought one of each flavor they had, and tried each one in turn every time i got a shag. My girlfriend likes to lick each one before i insert it in her, just to see what flavor i was wearing. The first night she said "Mmmmm, Cherry flavor", The second night she said "Mmmmm, Mint flavor ", The third night she said "Mmmmm, Strawberry flavor", and so on, until we had reached the final flavor, and she said "Mmmmm, Cheese flavor" "Cheese flavour ??" i said "I haven't put one on yet!"
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That Time Again
A highway patrolman wanted to set up a speed trap one day. He got up on a hill behind a big billboard and sat. He was there for about ten minutes with no radar action. Finally a car came by doing 85 M.P.H. He put on the blue light and pulled the car over. He said, "Sir, do realize you were doing 85 MPH?" The driver said "Yeah, but ya' see, it's that time of the month for the Mrs. and I gotta get her some tampons." The officer was sympathetic. He just said, "How about slowing it down." So the guy sped off. A few minutes later, another car came by running 85 MPH The officer gave him the blue light to. Again, the same scenario. The officer said "Sir, do you realize you were doing 85 MPH?" The guy had the same story. "Yes sir, but you see, it's that time of the month for the wife and I gotta get her some tampons." This pissed the officer off but he couldn't give this guy a ticket and not the last one. He said, "Just slow it down." No sooner than he got back up in his speed trap, here comes another guy doing 95 mph. The officer put the blue light on, pulled him over and walked up to the window. He looked at the guy and said, "Dammit, don't tell me it's that time of the month for your wife too!" The guy responded, "No sir, that's just barbecue sauce."
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Buckwheat 'n Darla
Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'? "Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb.". The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'. "Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictate'." Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence." "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
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