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Sex Jokes - Bestiality Jokes
Gorilla Sex
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500. He responded that he was interested but would have to think the matter over. The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions: "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union." The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third? "Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."
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Having Affairs
Q: Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients?
A: Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!
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Jump Two Feet
Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"
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