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Sex Jokes
Gay Mile High
Tom and Tim, both gay, were traveling on a plane. "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Tom. "Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it, said Tim."
"Nobody is paying attention to anything. Watch this." Tom stands up and asks loudly: "Could I please have a magazine?" Nobody looks at him. Everyone is sleeping, reading or looking out the window. "They really wouldn't notice then, would they?" said Tim.
So Tom and Tim have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the flight attendant sees an old man who puked all over his shirt and pants.
"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!" "I didn't dare" whispered the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a magazine and he got screwed in the ass..."
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Olympic Sex
A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100m finals
I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"
"No," she said,
"Eight black men and a gun."
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The Gay Guys and the Proctologist
Two gay guys are sitting at a little pub looking out the window in a small town. This guy walks by, and the one guy says to the other, "Who is that?" The other man says, "That's the new proctologist." He replies, "Well, I've got to meet him." The next day, he makes an appointment and goes in to see him. The doctor asks him, "What's the problem?" and he replies, "I have a terrible pain in my butt." The doctor says, "Well, let's take a look at it." So he bends over, and the doctor gets down to look in his ass, and he says, "Oh My God! There's a stick up your ass." The gay man then says, "Well, pull it out, pull it out! So he start to pull it out, and notices that it has thorns on it. "Oh my God! There are thorns on it? Well, pull it out, pull it out!" As he pulls it out, he see it's a rose. "Oh my God! It's a rose!" As the gay man exclaims, "Well, read the card, read the card!"
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