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Sex Jokes
Measure Up
There are people spreading a rumor that I grade male genitalia just because my friends do it.
It's a phallus - C
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Things Men Shouldn't Say After Sex...
Things Men Should "Never" Say After Sex:
1) "I was kidding about being sterile, you know."
2) "Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"
3) "How come it's so BIG in there?"
4) "You've done this with a lotta guys before---right?"
5) "Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, OK?"
6) (Sniff, sniff) "Is that CAT food?"
7) (Yelling) "OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!"
8) "You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!"
9) "My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better."
10)"Do you know what a 'douche' is?"
11)"Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow."
12)"I want you to try some of MY deodorant."
13)"I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?"
14)"Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!"
15)"I never saw a girl with hairy tits before !"
16)"I've been getting these little blisters lately-------"
17)"You wanna do those dishes before you leave?"
18)"You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!"
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Cross a Rooster and Lollipop
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?
A: A c**ksucker.
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