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Sex Jokes
His Penis Has Died
An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied. Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr.Smith I thought you told me your penis died". "It did" he replied; "today is the viewing"
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The Gay Guys and the Proctologist
Two gay guys are sitting at a little pub looking out the window in a small town. This guy walks by, and the one guy says to the other, "Who is that?" The other man says, "That's the new proctologist." He replies, "Well, I've got to meet him." The next day, he makes an appointment and goes in to see him. The doctor asks him, "What's the problem?" and he replies, "I have a terrible pain in my butt." The doctor says, "Well, let's take a look at it." So he bends over, and the doctor gets down to look in his ass, and he says, "Oh My God! There's a stick up your ass." The gay man then says, "Well, pull it out, pull it out! So he start to pull it out, and notices that it has thorns on it. "Oh my God! There are thorns on it? Well, pull it out, pull it out!" As he pulls it out, he see it's a rose. "Oh my God! It's a rose!" As the gay man exclaims, "Well, read the card, read the card!"
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True Rednecks on Halloween?
Q: What do true rednecks do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin.
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