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Sex Jokes

Elmo Factory
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arrived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''
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Long Time Ago
The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. "Oh..." he mused, "It was 1945." "Isn't that a long time to go without sex?" the doctor asked. "I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13."
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Little Johnny's Alphabet
Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get to "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anything dirty with a "W" so she calls on him. "Womb!", Little Johnny says. "That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in, where babies come from?" she asks. "No," says Johnny, "that's the sound elephants make when they're screwing, you know, 'Womb! Womb! Womb!"
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