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Sex Jokes
Cat Sex
A zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophile, a pyromaniac, and a masochist, are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" said the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
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The Ongoing Note
Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife: THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD. THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED.
The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read: TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN, PUT THE CANVAS AWAY. THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE, NO CIRCUS TODAY.
So he sent another note down. It read: THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP, AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD. SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD.
To which she replied: I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND. BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW SO DO IT BY HAND!!
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Men and Women Qualities
Q: Why do men walk so fast?
A: They've got three legs!
Q: Why do women talk so much?
A: They've got two mouths!
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